Stomach pain. A racing heart. Being stuck in bed. Hypervigilance. Intrusive thoughts. Our minds and bodies can tell us when things aren’t right, both during and long-after traumatic events.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. For domestic violence survivors and the people who love them, the mental health framework offers the right language for a truth that often gets overlooked: sometimes what looks like “overreacting,” shutting down, irritability, exhaustion, or emotional distance is actually a survival response to trauma.
While trauma has made its way into our day-to-day lingo, it’s not just “something upsetting that happened.” The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines individual trauma as an event, series of events, or set of circumstances experienced as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening, with lasting effects on well-being. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) adds that fear during and after trauma is part of the body’s fight-or-flight response, which helps us respond to danger. In other words, many post-trauma symptoms begin as the body and brain trying to protect a person, not as evidence that they are weak, broken, dramatic, or incapable.
That framing matters because trauma reactions are often misunderstood. In “abnormal circumstances,” traumatic stress reactions are normal. Survivors are often underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed when trauma is not recognized. Symptoms are not signs of weakness, a character flaw, or “going crazy.” Many survivors feel either too much emotion all at once or too little emotion at all. Some feel constantly on edge. Others feel numb, detached, or far away from themselves. Both patterns can be trauma-related.
For adults, those survival responses can show up in everyday life in ways that are easy to miss. After trauma, people may feel anxious, sad, angry, fearful, or emotionally flat. They may have trouble concentrating, sleep poorly, replay what happened, avoid reminders, isolate from friends and family, or become easily startled. Physical symptoms can matter too: headaches, stomach pain, sweating, racing heart, and muscle tension can all be part of the picture. The Office on Women’s Health notes that abuse and trauma can affect mental, physical, and emotional health and raise the risk of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance misuse. It also notes that symptoms do not always disrupt life right away; sometimes they become more visible months or even years later.
For survivors of intimate partner violence, this is especially important. Survivors can experience depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms, as well as flashbacks, persistent fear, and a sense of danger that does not seem to switch off. It’s also common to feel numb and disconnected from the world. None of those reactions mean the survivor is “failing.” They often reflect the lasting impact of living in danger, being controlled, or having to stay constantly alert to survive.
Children and teens also show trauma differently than adults. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network explains that younger children may become clingy, regress in skills they had already learned, struggle with sleep, or repeat parts of the trauma in play. School-age children may carry guilt, worry intensely about safety, complain of headaches and stomachaches, or lose their ability to focus and learn. Adolescents may withdraw, become self-conscious about their emotions, act recklessly, skip school, or seem angry all the time. Children exposed to intimate partner violence can also struggle in school and in peer relationships, even when no one around them realizes that trauma is part of the story.
Because of that, trauma may be misread as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and other behavior problems. It’s easy for it to appear as restlessness, fidgeting, trouble paying attention, and disorganization. Some children with complex trauma may appear jumpy, chaotic, or disconnected, when what is really happening is that their stress system is working overtime. Looking through a trauma-informed lens does not mean ignoring unsafe behavior, but it does mean asking better questions: Not just “What is wrong with this person?” but also “What might this person have gone through?”
So, what helps in the short term? The most consistent guidance from child trauma, mental health, and public health sources starts with safety and steadiness. Calm, predictable routines help. Reassurance helps. Supportive adults help. For children, that can mean a calm tone, regular mealtimes and bedtimes, clear pickup plans, room to play or draw, and adults who validate feelings instead of shaming them. For adults, it can mean staying connected to trusted people, avoiding alcohol and drugs as coping tools, trying to maintain basic routines, and seeking trauma-informed counseling or medical care when symptoms are interfering with daily life. For both children and adults, support works best when it reduces shame and increases connection.
Professional help can also make a real difference. Trauma-related symptoms can often be treated with talk therapy, medication, or both. For children affected by intimate partner violence, The National Child Traumatic Stress Network highlights evidence-based approaches such as Child-Parent Psychotherapy for young children and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for youth. Just as important, NCTSN emphasizes that children heal best when treatment happens within a broader circle of safety, advocacy, and support for the nonoffending parent.
Mental Health Awareness Month is a simple reminder that mental health should be taken seriously and that communities stay healthier and safer when prevention and support are part of everyday life. For children, safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments can help them thrive after traumatic events. Healing does not mean pretending trauma never happened. It means helping survivors and families feel safer, more connected, and less alone—one steady response at a time. If you or someone you know needs support, you can contact Bridges Domestic Violence Center’s 24-hour crisis line at (615) 599-5777. Bridges Domestic Violence Center provides temporary shelter, crisis intervention, child advocacy, case management, and more. Even if you’re unsure about what you need, we can help.